Sunday, November 17, 2013

Now Witness the Nuance of this Fully Hoped and Changed Foreign Policy!

Avert your eyes (again!), puny mortals! The awesome smarty smartitude of our awesome smart diplomacy has been revealed to a world made weary by war and unhopeful non-hope-i-ness!

Behold! Boy Assad--once under threat of unbelievably small air strikes to punish him for slaughtering civilians with poison gas--is now fighting on our side for the just cause of eliminating Assad's chemical arsenal!

Syrian forces went on the offensive on Saturday against rebels positioned along a major highway linking the capital with the coast, rebels said, a strategic road that is likely to be used to extract chemical weapons from the country. ...

Diplomats say Syrian authorities have identified the road north from Damascus towards Homs and the coast as the preferred route to transport chemical agents under a U.S.-Russian accord to eliminate them from the country's protracted civil war.

It's preferred because Assad needs to control the route between the coast and Damascus to secure his Rump Syria as a contiguous piece of government-held territory.

So Assad gets to kill the Obama-approved way in the Obama-justified areas under the brilliant Kerry-Lavrov deal. Who could have foreseen that? Oh, wait. I could:

Assad will also have a ready excuse that the rebels hamper him. Oh, if only we could crush the rebellion we could rapidly disarm as we promised! Alas, evil rebels prevent us from honoring the wishes of the sainted international community! ...

If weapons inspectors want to go to Warehouse Q and the Syrians (who provide the military escorts for safety) say it is too unsafe to go there at the moment, what do the inspectors do? Wait until it is safe? A good artillery barrage will "make it safe" for the inspectors, Assad will say.

So Assad goes on offense because he has to in order to carry out the terms of the chemical weapons deal. I guess we didn't see that coming.

Gosh. Assad is a peace partner after all. Kerry always knew Assad was a man we could deal with. And we sure are dealing, aren't we?

(Note: I'm still chuckling over Jonah Goldberg's use of my title's original quote.)