Sunday, January 27, 2013

Patient Ex

Because ice floes might not be available due to dread global warming, modern man has devised a new way to get rid of those expensive old and sick people: state-run health care.

But don't call it a "death panel:"

WHEN IT COMES TO END-OF-LIFE DECISIONS, The State Does Not Love You.“First, socialist states invariably run out of money once they finally destroy their productive class; and second, the state has neither heart nor soul. To you, Patient X is your beloved mother, or brother, or child. To the state, Patient X is an unnecessary cost to an already strained system.”

Don't say we weren't warned. But at least we aren't at the cracker stage--you know, to be more efficient with our resources. Waste not, want not!

UPDATE: Yep, just a step shy of crackering them:

Faced with the high cost of caring for smokers and overeaters, experts say society must grapple with a blunt question: Instead of trying to penalize them and change their ways, why not just let these health sinners die?

Unless Michelle Obama blocks the cracker stage because they'd have too high a fat content and contain nicotine, we're looking at Soylent Green territory, no?

As a bonus, we could devote even more corn production to filling yuppy fuel tanks rather than feeding poor people!

And with a name like that, you can be sure that Al Gore will cash in.