Sunday, February 22, 2015

Sitting on the Foggy Throne

John Kerry, our chief diplomat (who is already world renowned), stood firm against the biggest threat we face:

The rise of violent extremism represents the pre-eminent challenge of the young 21st century. Military force is a rational and often necessary response to the wanton slaughters of children, mass kidnappings of schoolgirls, and beheading of innocents. But military force alone won’t achieve victory. In the long term, this war will be won only by deploying a broader, far more creative arsenal.

If only, somehow, we could figure out who is killing innocent people and just who these innocent people are! I mean, if Baptists were slaughtering Animists, that would simplify our problem and help us focus our broad arsenal, no? Alas, it is a mystery.

#WeStandWithRandomPeople. (Release the Kraken Hashtag!)

Only one year ago, our chief diplomat wasn't nearly as vague about the biggest threat to all of us that he could see:

Climate change may be the world's "most fearsome" weapon of mass destruction and urgent global action is needed to combat it, U.S. Secretary of State John Kerry said on Sunday, comparing those who deny its existence or question its causes to people who insist the Earth is flat.

Kerry was sure the enemy was oil and coal.

#WeStandWithScienceThatConvenientlySupportsOurExistingPolicyGoals.

I'd say the science on who is killing people is more solid than what is causing our 17-year-long "pause" in global temperature increases. No odd data manipulation is needed to indicate that Islamo-fascists are killing people who are not Islamo-fascist. Denial problems, indeed.

Perhaps we need a State Department glossary to see the order of concern for something that is a "pre-eminent" challenge and one that needs "urgent global action."

I'm sure the nuance involved is breathtaking and only Marie Harf can fully appreciate it.

But a year from today, who knows what threat Kerry will groan about and raise to the top priority for his stunning intellect to take on?

Perhaps Putin's Russia will have taken enough ground and rearmed enough to raise alarms about global action. Certainly, Kerry noted Putin's aggression recently:

Speaking in London alongside UK Foreign Secretary Philip Hammond, Kerry said Russia was "continuing to do land-grabbing in Ukraine" even as it professed to support peace efforts.

Russia's actions are "just simply unacceptable, so we are talking about additional sanctions, additional efforts," Kerry said.

"We are confident that over the next few days we are going to make it clear that we are not going to play this game, not going to sit here and be part of this extraordinarily craven behavior at the expense of the sovereignty and integrity of a nation.

At least Kerry isn't in denial that Russia is invading Ukraine. That surely gives Russia under Putin a leg up in ascending the threat assessment ladder past global non-warming and the threat of mysteriously motivated killers in next year's threat matrix.

#UnitedForUkraine. Oh wait, that's a real one--God help us.

And I just love the "craven" label the Secretary of State applied to Putin. I think somebody has been binge watching a lot of Game of Thrones, lately, eh?



Not that it hasn't affected me, I admit.

Pity Kerry isn't on the small council of Westeros, instead. His knowledge might be useful.

#NoMoreRedWeddings.

I think we can all agree that "boob" is a large part of our diplomacy, these days. Because when you play the game of groans, you either win a Nobel Peace Prize or just resign to spend more time with your family and go home with lovely parting gifts.

But no worries. Kerry is also on the Iran nuclear issue:

U.S. Secretary of State John Kerry and his Iranian counterpart Mohammad Javad Zarif will try to narrow gaps in another round of nuclear talks in Geneva on Sunday as they press to meet a March 31 deadline for a political framework agreement.

They want to kill us all and we don't want them to kill any of us. Obviously there's room for give and take in those opening positions.

And Zarif has to give us one of his dragons, obviously.

#GodHelpUsAll