Does It Really Have to Be This Difficult?

I begin to understand why plumbers make so much money.

The last faucet I replaced worked reasonably well as I related, despite early difficulties. Today was the really bad faucet.

Right now I have no kitchen faucet working. Oh, the faucet is installed with the caulk all wiped away and looking sharp. But it is decorative, only. Nothing is attached underneath. That's where my problems occurred.

I thought I'd be in better shape with nuts attaching the old kitchen faucet instead of the plastic hand-turned devices that caused me so many problems in the bathroom.

To avoid electrocution threat, I even unplugged the disposal before starting work. Hah! That's doing it smart, no?

I got one off nut with only moderate problems in the tight space. But really, I had no reason to complain about that task.

The other nut was the problem. It was so rusted to the metal retaining disk that I could not manage to turn the nut one bit. I spent a good half hour or more trying to move the damn nut.

With all due respect for the words of wisdom of a friend who warned against starting the destruction route, I then went the destruction route.

Using metal snips I started carving away bits of disk.

But I could not snip the disk away. And worse, getting the adjustable wrench around the nut with shards of metal sticking down made me worry about slicing up my hand going back to the old way of trying to turn the nut.

I went to the hardware store to get a basin wrench to finally get that stupid nut. The right tool for the job, right?

I regretted not getting the thing when it was on sale the last time I had to make the hardware store trek a couple months ago. But I found a basin wrench.

And in bonus foresight territory, I grabbed a new water supply tube because I could see that the new faucet's cold water tube would not reach down to the water supply tube. Strangely, the cold water tube on the old faucet was way longer than the new faucet's cold water tube.

Heck, I even checked the bargain tools bin and found a basin wrench for the half the price of the one on the shelf!

Yep, I can totally do this stuff.

Once home with the kids, I tried out the basin wrench while they started homework. I'm reasonably sure I wasn't using it upside down. But I could not turn the stupid nut with the proper tool. A good twenty minutes and I had bupkis.

I decided to resume the destruction route to the end.

I disconnected the water tubes so that I could pull the whole old faucet up and out even with one rusted connecting disk holding it in place.

That water supply disconnect worked fine, using two wrenches, with no damage to pipes.

I then started pulling up the old faucet, rocking it back and forth. In less than a minute I had the stupid thing pulled out. Success! Sometimes superior firepower is the way to go!

Removing the old faucet was the tough part of the last job so I looked forward to a new faucet before I had to take the kids to their mom's. It should all go smoothly at this point, I thought.

After cleaning the gunk from the old faucet left on the sink, I prepared to apply caulk to the new faucet base.

At that moment I noticed that the faucet had a third water tube--for a hand-held hose sprayer. And I realized this meant that I'd have an open hose spewing water under my sink if I hooked it up.

I had noticed the hose before but hadn't drawn the correct conclusion. I figured I'd keep the hose and if I got a new sink I could perhaps get one with a hole for the hose attachment. That whole third water supply tube just hadn't leaped out in my mind as a problem.

Then it was back to the hardware store to exchange the two-month old purchase. I even had the receipt.

I was prepared for an argument with such an old purchase. "Didn't you see the picture of the sprayer on the box?" they might ask.

"Yes, I did. But the box does not say it had anything but a faucet," I could explain. I really did look. It does not say anywhere that it includes a sprayer hose.

I was prepared to add that the box illustration also shows a sink and whisk that aren't in the box.

But they exchanged my purchase with no further questions. The woman even noted how a plumber had installed her sink and left the connected hose under her sink because she had to outlet for it!

I said I had thought of doing that, but really didn't want another point where the thing could leak. She understood completely.

Now I was all set, I thought.

Oh, the new box clearly shows no sprayer hose. Although the box did not contain a sink or pile of dishes, I'll add.

Back home, I set the new faucet in place with caulk, locked it in place, and cleaned up the excess caulk.

Unsure of whether I'd spent enough time on this for one day (it would be easy to rush and break something), I checked to see if the new water tube would reach the cold water side. It would. But it was completely the wrong nut size to connect to the water supply even though it would connect to the faucet.

Huh.

This was clearly an original faucet from the mid-1980s when my place was built. Great.

Apparently it was very important to change the size of the connecting nut since that time. Ignorant mid-80s plumbers using substandard nut diameters! I'd have to return this tube and hope another one could fit with a mid-1980s water stop connection and a 21st century faucet connection.

Egad, it'll be like trying to find adapters for different pin connectors on old computers to keep the old printer.

I then thought I'd just hook up the existing water tube to the hot water side to the faucet since that tube was more than long enough with the tube in place. But the tube was completely incompatible with the faucet tube on the other end!

Seriously?

Now I think I'll have to get two new tubes and install them on the water supply stops. Perhaps this is really easy. But after numerous speed bumps, I begin to lose confidence that I've reached the last problem.

But that's all I need to do. Get water supply tubes that fit to the water stops and fit the faucet. That can't be too hard, right?

Tomorrow.

But I need to do some shopping tomorrow, too--including more beer for a game night tomorrow night (should be some Catan variant) to replace the restorative brew I'm consuming right now--and I need to pick up a framed picture that is ready. I think I can fit in another trip to the hardware store and have time to work on the faucet before picking up the kids from school. If I can't manage to complete the repairs by then, I'll have to wait until Friday.

I'll continue working the problem. If I have to visit youtube and look for guides, I'll do that too.