This article by Dennis Prager inspired some whimsy amidst the carnage of insanity that the turn-it-to-11 Resistance has spawned.
TWITTER: We have found a Nazi, might we hate him?
SOCIAL MEDIA: Hate him! Hate!
MAINSTREAM MEDIA: How do you know he is a Nazi?
GOOGLE: He looks like one.
MAINSTREAM MEDIA: Bring him forward.
NAZI: I'm not a Nazi. I'm not a Nazi.
MAINSTREAM MEDIA: But you are dressed as one.
NAZI: They dressed me up like this.
SOCIAL MEDIA: No, we didn't -- no.
NAZI: And this isn't my Hitler mustache, it's a false one.
MAINSTREAM MEDIA: Well?
TWITTER: Well, we did do the mustache.
MAINSTREAM MEDIA: The mustache?
TWITTER: And the swastika -- but he is a Nazi!
SOCIAL MEDIA: Hate him! Nazi! Nazi! Hate him!
MAINSTREAM MEDIA: Did you dress him up like this?
SOCIAL MEDIA: No, no... no... yes. Yes, yes, a bit, a bit.
TWITTER: He has got a MAGA hat.
MAINSTREAM MEDIA: What makes you think he is a Nazi?
FACEBOOK: Well, he turned me into a victim.
MAINSTREAM MEDIA: A victim?
FACEBOOK: I got better.
GOOGLE: Hate him anyway!
SOCIAL MEDIA: Hate! Hate him!
MAINSTREAM MEDIA: Quiet! Quiet! Quiet! There are ways of telling whether he is a Nazi.
SOCIAL MEDIA: Are there? What are they?
GOOGLE: Do they hurt?
MAINSTREAM MEDIA: Tell me, what do you do with Nazis?
GOOGLE: Hate!
SOCIAL MEDIA: Hate, hate them out!
MAINSTREAM MEDIA: And what do you hate apart from Nazis?
TWITTER: More Nazis!
GOOGLE: Conservatives!
MAINSTREAM MEDIA: So, why do you hate conservatives?
[pause]
FACEBOOK: B--... 'cause they're opposed to our policies?
MAINSTREAM MEDIA: Good!
SOCIAL MEDIA: Oh yeah, yeah.
MAINSTREAM MEDIA: So, how do we tell whether he disagrees with your policies?
TWITTER: Listen for his dog whistles.
MAINSTREAM MEDIA: Aah, but can you not also hear the voices in your head?
GOOGLE: Oh, yeah.
MAINSTREAM MEDIA: Does a conservative hate Trump?
TWITTER: No, no.
GOOGLE : He votes for him! He votes!
TWITTER: Throw him into the basket of deplorables!
SOCIAL MEDIA: The basket!
MAINSTREAM MEDIA: What also belongs in the basket?
TWITTER: Men!
GOOGLE: Russians!
FACEBOOK: Boys!
TWITTER: Soldiers!
GOOGLE: Uhhh, white women!
TWITTER: High school grads!
GOOGLE: Gun owners!
FACEBOOK: Churches -- churches!
GOOGLE: Founding fathers -- forefathers!
MADDOW: A Republican.
SOCIAL MEDIA: Oooh.
MAINSTREAM MEDIA: Exactly! So, logically...
TWITTER: If... he... believes the same things as a Republican... he's a conservative.
MAINSTREAM MEDIA: And therefore?
TWITTER: A Nazi!
SOCIAL MEDIA: A Nazi! A Nazi! A Nazi!
MAINSTREAM MEDIA: We shall use my largest fact check!
[tweeting]
MAINSTREAM MEDIA: Right, remove the sanity!
[like] [retweet]
SOCIAL MEDIA: A Nazi! A Nazi!
NAZI: It's a fair cop.
SOCIAL MEDIA: Hate him! Hate him!
[tweeting]
MAINSTREAM MEDIA: Who are you who are so wise in the ways of hate?
MADDOW: I am Maddow, King of the Crazies.
MAINSTREAM MEDIA: My liege!
MADDOW: Good Zhir pundit, will you come with me to 2020, and join us at the Election Desk?
MAINSTREAM MEDIA: My liege! I would be honored.
MADDOW: What is your name?
MAINSTREAM MEDIA: The media, my liege.
MADDOW: Then I dub you Woke Media, Pundit of the Election Desk.
Thanks to these people for the script of the original.
And I'd be remiss if I didn't link to my Smells Like Woke Spirit song parody.
Wednesday, July 31, 2019
How Do You Know He's a Nazi (Before You Punch Him)?
Labels:
Humor