One Glue Failure Away

Once again, after licking the Sprint ecoEnvelope in the vain hope of triggering its supposed adhesive qualities--after performing the monthly ecoPunishment of disengaging the return envelope for daring to pay by mail, I had to use glue to seal the envelope.

I'm thinking of firing up my gasoline-powered ecoDestroyer car and running the oil-based ecoTires back and forth across the ecoEnvelope to see if a ton of Detroit's best can somehow unleash the adhesive qualities of the ecoGlue with pressure beyond even my capacity to pound my ecoFist over and over into the stupid thing on my dining table.

And I'm reasonably certain that cursing the company isn't the key.

Seriously, this is pissing me off so much that I'm this close (imagine me holding my finger and thumb about a centimeter apart) to switching carriers. I'm due for a new phone from Sprint since my two-year period is long over. Maybe I need to exoSkedaddle to a phone company that doesn't hate me for destroying the planet.

Let's see how that next ecoEnvelope goes, shall we?