Ban Assault Water, Now

So when do we get rid of high-capacity swimming pools? Shouldn't we ban pools with water deeper than 30" just in case? Seriously, how much water do you need to get wet?

And remember, United States Marines use the water to reach the shore! In order to kill people and break things! Water is an assault medium, isn't it?

Or what about those pool slides? They're like magazines feeding our children into the killing waters, aren't they?