Friday, August 10, 2012

This is What I'm Talking About

I date in Ann Arbor. Or I try to, anyway. I can live with the fact that dating means dating liberal women. I don't know if I've ever dated a conservative woman. I can live with that. I don't mind different. It keeps you on your toes. Living in a bubble of group think will never be a problem for me. And I've met some lovely and charming women who are liberal. I cringe when I contemplate their voting patterns, but it's a free country.

So it was disheartening to get this email through a dating site that I recently let expire:

Your profile was a treat to read...some personality came through. But tell me, are you a fiscal conservative, or also a social conservative? I have strong feelings about equity for people of all stripes, and I'm proud of my daughter's work for accessible reproductive health care through [a pro-abortion group].

Well good for you. I have strong feelings about equality for people of all stripes. I'll leave equity to effort and luck. I want our laws to be fair. Life isn't something I expect the latter ideal to have a lot of relevance. Mom and dad never screwed me up by telling me life is fair.

Am I a social conservative? I don't think so. But I know darned well I'm more conservative on social issues than this woman. I'm not pro-abortion, but it just isn't a high priority item for me. And I certainly don't reject anybody for having a view on it different than mine.

Yet for this woman, that's a dating deal breaker. Wow. Who's close minded in all of this, again? After all, some personality came through--which apparently appealed to her. And she enjoyed my writing style. Obviously, my picture in a tuxedo was a total turn on. Yet she had to ask if I'm a social conservative.

I don't actually think of myself as a "social conservative." But I'm sure I have enough conservative views on social issues--or at least non-liberal views--to put myself in that category for her.

And I'll be damned if I'm going to treat dating like going on a job interview trying to give the "right" answers.

You wonder why I think it is a travesty of language that "liberal minded" is a synonym for "open minded?"

I didn't bother replying. She isn't looking for a partner. She's looking for a voting demographic. Good luck to her.

Actually, she probably doesn't need a lot of luck around here. Good luck to me.