Too Many Eco-Cooks

So our future of eco-friendly lighting is starting to arrive with the approaching ban on 100-watt incandescent light bulbs nationwide next year (in California, the future is here). Yes, I know this is a Bush-era thing. But heck, President Obama could probably guarantee his reelection just by issuing waivers to all 50 states and territories too from the looming federal light bulb ban.

The eco-scolds tell us they are better and cheaper, yet it is taking the government to make us switch. I guess we are too stupid to appreciate that the CFL bulbs and the other options are superior. Either that or the incandescent bulbs have advantages that the eco-scolds simply don't recognize. One of the two, I'd say.

And never mind that I rarely fly, so if I choose to use the old bulbs am I really morally inferior (in the eco-sense, of course) to the jet-setter who uses twisty bulbs in all 100 fixtures in their mini-mansion?

I won't even bring up again that producing heat is not a bug of incandescent light bulbs where I live--it's a welcome feature!

But bulb manufacturers are happy because a mature technology that's a commodity and producible by anybody is now a higher-end product with bigger profit margins.

And there is another company that will benefit: Hasbro:

"We are aware that the 100-watt incandescent light bulb will no longer be available beginning in 2012. In fall 2011, Hasbro will launch the Easy-Bake Ultimate Oven, introducing a new way to bake for the next generation of chefs. This new oven features a heating element that does not use a light bulb and offers an extensive assortment of mixes reflective of the hottest baking trends for today."

So all those old Easy-Bake ovens in homes will need to be replaced by a new ovens. (But surely you say, not more expensive! Yes, they'll be more expensive. And don't call me Shirley.) And you thought you could pass your old one down to a younger sibling or friend's child? Think again as you price the new Easy-Bake Ultimate Profit Margin Oven!

And new mixes, too! Forget about those cheap replacement recipes you get off the Internet instead of buying the outrageously expensive packets that make a tiny slice of cake for the price you could buy a whole cake at the grocery store. No, we'll engineer this sucker to make sure you need our recipes! Anything else will cripple the new-and-improved heating element! Hah! Take that mature toy technology! We'll patent the heating element and it will be 30 years before any other company can make a cheap copy! And Hasbro probably didn't even need to play the game of crony capitalism to get this government advantage! Woo hoo! Collateral advantage!

Oh, Hasbro could have filled the socket void by revamping their recipes to allow for 10-hour cooking times using a twisty bulb, I assume. But that would be a trifle much to expect young children to appreciate a cake crock pot.

Or Hasbro could have simply marketed "heat balls" for their ovens. That would actually be a stroke of business genius. You could charge a bit more for the bulbs heating elements and you'd sell lots of them to people who don't even have children or grandchildren! What's it to you if people are using your oven heating element as unauthorized light devices?

Really, a market would spring up for cheap devices that "use" 100-watt incandescent heating elements for a non-lighting purpose just as an excuse to sell replacement "bulbs" for the stupid thing that you probably dumped in a landfill the moment you unwrapped it and pulled out the "bulb" to use.

But no, better to go along to get along and simply ride the wave of government regulation to your best advantage rather than work around them. Regulators will find you and get you eventually. Innovation comes in flashes of brilliance while government regulators grind away at you day after day until you succumb.

Damn them all. Those effing morally superior scolds who want me to live my life the way they want me to in order to "save the planet" can go twist in a CFL bulb where the bluish light don't shine.