Think of Our Children

As Iranians plot to kill us and build nukes, as Hugo Chavez plunges Venezuela into chaos and blames us, as the Taliban and other jihadis exploit Islam to kill, as China tries to create an exclusive sphere of influence that submerges our friends, and as Russia gets all Russiany, let's not forget the real threat to our country: Jingoistic Canadians using memories of the War of 1812 to rally nationalistic citizens against America:

Heritage Minister James Moore said Tuesday that Canada owes its existence as an independent, bilingual country to the defense of its territory against U.S. invasions 200 years ago.

Plans call for a permanent 1812 monument in Ottawa and up to 100 events, festivals and re-enactments, as well as commemorative stamps and coins.

In 1812, British troops and residents of what is now Canada prevented several U.S. attempts to overrun the then-British territory. The Battle of Queenston Heights, the war's first major battle and a decisive British victory, was fought across the Niagara River from New York.

"We were invaded, we repelled the invasion and we endured," Moore said in a telephone interview.

Repelled the invasion? Well, there was that Battle of the Thames River thing. But since the war wasn't really about Canada, we didn't exploit the victory.

So the purpose of this exercise in grievance mongering can have only one purpose: Imperialist Aggression.



We must not allow a Zamboni gap!

As much as I love vacationing in Canada, I may cancel my annual trip to Canada's capital, Toronto, next year. I'd hate to be held captive on trumped up littering charges and held hostage, eh?

Obviously, I kid. Canada has been a valued ally and their military, while small, is quite good man for man. I appreciate their years of fighting with us in Afghanistan.