Thursday, March 26, 2009

Talk to the Butt

We timidly offered up our annual report on China's military power, as press spokesman Morrell explained:

Asked if the Pentagon was concerned the analysis could derail bilateral military talks by angering China, press secretary Geoff Morrell said the "straightforward, fact-based report" had "nothing inflammatory or derogatory in it."

The Pentagon hoped the report would help in "fostering greater cooperation, greater understanding, greater transparency between our two militaries," he added.

Nothing inflammatory or derogatory? Has Morrell never interacted with the Chinese government before? These gentlemen have low thresholds for being inflamed and insulted.

The Chinese threw their usual tantrum. For such an ancient civilization they sure do behave like self-centered toddlers:

China slammed a newly released U.S. report on Beijing's growing military power as a "gross distortion," saying Thursday that it could damage military relations between the two countries.

Foreign Ministry spokesman Qin Gang lashed out at the report as "interference" in China's affairs and said his country had formally complained.

"It is a gross distortion of facts and interference into China's internal affairs. China resolutely opposes it and has made solemn representation to the U.S. side," he told a regularly scheduled news conference.

Yeah, yeah. We're being so unfair! And all the other rising powers are building up their militaries! Stop looking at me! I hate you! I want a new international partner!

I do hope our side gives them a nice shiny reset button and sends them on their way. With instructions on where to put it, of course.

Clearly, there's no way I should be in the State Department.