Mobius Grip

I've long wondered about our reality-debased community and how they could live in Bizarro World without any apparent understanding of the realities of war and foreign policy. What could have twisted otherwise intelligent people into such a distorted view of reality?

But then the contortions of the diplomacy line of attack on President Bush made the twists on that path clear to me. Follow along, will you?

First, let's begin with the Left's argument that President Bush has failed to conduct a multi-lateral diplomatic strategy like our nuanced European allies would choose to follow. Instead, Bush is bent on unilateral endeavors.

Inconveniently, however, we know that for about four years now, we've been letting leading members of the European Union conduct negotiations with Iran over their nuclear programs. Everyone knows they do it with our blessing so clearly we'd accept a decent agreement. Yet the mullahs have yielded nothing but statements that they'll continue full speed with their nuclear programs (and, oh yes, death to the Jews).

But, our Left replies, without us directly involved in talking the Iranians don't really believe we'd go along with any settlement the EU types negotiate.

Sure, I might say that if this is a stumbling block why don't the Iranians just try and call our bluff by coming to an agreement with the EU guys? And I can counter with the fact that we do indeed talk to the Iranians directly but unofficially, and on other matters formally, so surely the Iranians know we are interested in diplomacy without formally joining the EU folks on the nuclear track talks.

Ah, says the Left, it is only formal and publicly visible talks that could possibly provide the reassurance that the Iranians need to prove our willingness to abide by an agreement.

Which is strange when I consider the whole North Korea negotiations track. Aren't we part of the "6-party talks" that join us formally with friends and neighbors of North Korea in addresssing Pyongyang's nuclear programs?

Don't be absurd, our Left protests! In North Korea (Get ready to feel the half twist propelling you forward to an alternate reality!), we should get rid of all those other countries and conduct one-on-one diplomacy with the North Koreans! All those allies and friends obstruct any possible settlement with the Pillsbury Nuke Boy that would involve trading financial incentives for the dismantling of North Korea's nuclear program. Bushhitler has out-sourced our diplomacy to foreigners!

And so there you are. Sort of back to where you started, but totally reversed in your universe.

It's a mobius grip on reality, see?