Saturday, September 17, 2005

Why We Have JDAMs

Hugo Chavez lashes out at America:

The leftist leader told a U.N. summit on Thursday that fighting the war without U.N. authorization showed Washington did not respect the world body.

Said No. Two in the Axis of El Vil:

"There were never weapons of mass destruction but Iraq was bombed, and over U.N. objections, (it was) occupied and continues being occupied," Chavez said.

I can certainly understand why Chavez opposes a non-UN approved overthrow of an oil-rich nutball thug without nukes. A little too close to home, I imagine.

And the UN audience loved it:

When he finally stopped, he got what observers said was the loudest applause of the summit.

Well that's nice. I guess El Maximo Nutball is pretty sure this audience won't authorize anybody to end his petty dictatorship.

I will grant that Hugo has one excellent suggestion:

Chavez, a close ally of Cuban leader Fidel Castro, suggested moving U.N. headquarters New York to an international city "outside the sovereignty of any state" and said some have mentioned Jerusalem as one possibility.

I wonder who the "some" are who want to internationalize Jerusalem?

But other than that, I do think we should move the UN General Assembly building to some Third World locale. If we want someplace outside the sovereignty of any state, I suggest Somalia. There is no functioning state there and forcing the representatives of the vaunted international community to do their work in downtown Mogadishu rather than New York with its amenities could have a wonderful effect on the work of the body.

The UN could hardly make that place worse. Or am I too much the optimistic internationalist in making that assumption?

But back to Chavez. The Vile One claims we plan to invade his country:

Chavez, interviewed on ABC's "Nightline," said the plan is called "Balboa" and involves aircraft carriers and planes. A transcript of the interview was made available by "Nightline."

He said U.S. soldiers recently went to Curacao, an island off Venezuela's northwest coast. He described as a "lie" the official U.S. explanation that they visited Curacao for rest and recreation.

"They were doing movements. They were doing maneuvers," Chavez said, speaking through a translator.

Planes? Aircraft carriers? Wow. That type of high-level information is really valuable. I hope Chavez paid some good money for that tidbit. Man, that guy is a goofball. Totally off his rocker.

As a free service to El Nutball, an invasion would also involve bullets and big green things called tanks. Some might even be manned by Marines. And put your highly paid spies on those "special forces" troops you were told about.

And JDAMs. Please remember the JDAMs. Because as long as he is just loony, that's one thing. As annoying as he is we have more pressing concerns.

But if he becomes dangerous in his delusions of grandeur, that is another question altogether.

UPDATE: In an amusing turn, Chavez's good friend, Jesse Jackson, apparently gave Hugo a quick rebuke on becoming the Latin Cindy Sheehan. Chavez then turned down the rhetoric:

"Sometimes I make mistakes, I tend to respond to any official from the government of Mr. Bush who verbally attacks Venezuela," Chavez said during a speech at a Manhattan church, his last public event in New York before heading to Cuba to meet with his close ally Fidel Castro.

Chavez said the Rev. Jesse Jackson and U.S. Rep. Jose Serrano, D-N.Y., who sat with him at the church, had advised him "not to be provoked" by representatives of the U.S. government.

It's nice that Jackson is so concerned with Hugo's image in America. And Rep. Serrano, whoever he is. Thanks, guys.