A defiant North Korea test-fired a long-range missile Wednesday that may be capable of reaching America, but it failed seconds after launch, officials said. The North also tested five shorter range missiles in an exercise the White House called "provocative" but not an immediate threat.
Ignoring stern U.S. and Japanese warnings, the isolated communist nation carried out the audacious military tests even as the U.S. celebrated the Fourth of July and launched the space shuttle.
First of all, defiant? Come on, people. Defiant of what? Like we'd give a rip about that gulag with a UN seat if they didn't have nukes! Just what is the Pillsbury Nuke Boy "defying?" I mean other than hair styles post-1958.
More to the point, the missiles all dropped in the Sea of Japan. Even the long range one. Oh well. Nice try Pillsbury Nuke Boy. So was the trajectory planned over Japan? If so, Pyongyang got the worst of both worlds. They tried to intimidate Japan and just ended up being part of our fireworks celebrations.
It will be interesting to hear the reactions to this test. Some said we should not try to shoot down the missile lest we fail and show up our technology as lacking. I didn't worry about that. I figured we'd either hit or learn a lot from the real world attempt.
So will people now think North Korea is inept because their long-range missile fizzled? Or will people panic at the test taking place at all? Will some urge us to pay off North Korea before they can successfully fire one?
Really, firing on our Fourth of July was probably a mistake. Half-drunken American Patriots dizzy from a meat-induced stupor after a day of eating grilled burgers, brats, and barbecue chicken all across our country showed more skill with rocketry than North Korea did today.
Me? I'm relieved their test failed but worried about their clear intent.
UPDATE: Amazingly, some are reacting as I predicted. Here's one:
Sandy Berger, the National Security Adviser in the Clinton administration, said on CNN the United States ultimately would have to enter direct talks with North Korea because the six-party talks have failed.
They fired and missed! Are we really supposed to surrender to someone who has failed to demonstrate a credible threat? Are the likes of Berger so eager to surrender that they will hand over our sword to any twitching corpse that belches gas? Amazing.
And then there's my personal favorite for appeasement on North Korea, Selig Harrison:
If there's a silver lining to Tuesday's events, some observers argue, it might be the failure of the long-range Taepodong 2 missile.
On the other hand, says Selig Harrison, an American scholar on the North Korean regime, the flop of the Taepodong 2 could have the unfortunate effect of strengthening the hand of the North Korean military leaders who have argued for
more frequent testing of the missile.
Unless the United States succeeds with new diplomatic advances soon, the North Korean generals may win an internal argument in favor of speeding up their missile development program, Harrison said.
A silver lining to an otherwise glorious day of missiles plopping into the Sea of Japan. But the story goes on quickly to brush past that little bit of inconvenient results to show how bad it is that North Korea failed! I'm just sorry that the story didn't let Mr. Harrison expound on the positive results for us if only the missile had landed just shy of Seattle or something good like that. People, there is a reason this man has been to North Korea so many times--he is too useful to Pyongyang for them to keep him out for very long.
The North Koreans surely must be confused about their enemies who can't apparently ever deem a North Korean action a failure. Is it any wonder the Pillsbury Nuke Boy figures eventually somebody over here will sign a big check in Kim's name?
