Friday, December 21, 2007

Destroy All Monsters!

The Japanese, unable to wage war against Earthlings because of their pacifist constitution, are exploring legal roadblocks to waging war against alien invaders:

The Japanese Minister of Defense is calling for efforts to work out the military and legal issues that would result if Japanese were attacked by extraterrestrials. Two members of the Japanese cabinet have expressed personal beliefs in the existence of extraterrestrials out there, somewhere. Because of Japans 1947 constitution, there are restrictions on what actions the military can take. Basically, the Japanese military is, technically, a purely defensive force. But an extraterrestrial invasion might play out in ways that would find the Japanese military prevented, by lawyers, from moving against an extraterrestrial menace.

We're not making this up.

Fortunately, once the legal questions are answered, the Japanese have only to update War Plan 1968F: Code Name Kaij├╗ s├┤shingeki, which fended off the last invasion.

Oh, the humanity!