Tuesday, May 13, 2014

Break Out the Nobel Peace Prizes!

Hey! We can report on a verifiable success of our talks with Iran on their nuclear capabilities!

Yes, you read it right. Success! You see, lately Iran has slowed down their rate of illegally importing banned items useful for their nuclear and missile programs!

The latest report by the U.N. Panel of Experts, which monitors compliance with the Security Council's sanctions regime on Iran, said Tehran's attempts to illicitly procure materials for its disputed nuclear and missile programs may have slowed down as it pursues talks on a long-term deal with world powers.

Or maybe after 35 years of avoiding sanctions, we just aren't catching them as much:

But the experts' report, which reached the Security Council's Iran sanctions committee days ahead of a new round of Vienna talks between Iran and six world powers, said an alternative explanation could be that Tehran had merely learned how to outsmart security and intelligence services in acquiring sensitive components and materials.

Hard to say. Because our "partner" in these talks denies having a nuclear weapons program and is dismissive of our interest in talking about their missile program:

Iran's Supreme Leader described as "stupid and idiotic" Western expectations for his country to curb its missile development, striking a defiant tone ahead of a fresh round of nuclear talks.

This will work out just swell.