After a 60-day review of the nation's terror-alert system, a special task force is expected to recommend that the Obama administration keep color-coded alerts, but reduce the number of colors — or levels of risk.
There are currently five colors in the coded terrorism advisories, long derided by late night TV comics and portrayed by some Democrats as a tool for Bush administration political manipulation.
Since we've never been at the bottom two levels, dropping those two is hardly a sweeping condemnation of the idea behind the alert levels.
Still, even the three new levels will transform our alert levels for the age of hope and change:
The lowest level will be Code Green, which stands for "It's Bush's Fault." It signifies the new usual status of apologizing for America's actions toward the nutcases within the Islamic world while hoping nobody from that community attacks us.
One level higher is Code Yellow, meaning "That Was Before My Time--It's America's Fault." This level indicates that jihadis still appear determined to attack us, but unfortunately haven't digested the fact that Bush is no longer president.
The highest level, Code Pink, is true emergency status meaning "Holy Cr*p, Not Even These Code Pink Hags Will Believe Us If We Say It Isn't Our Fault." This means we've been attacked again and remember that yes, we really are still at war with jihadis.
But by all means, enjoy level Green while you can.
[On a serious note, if we are attacked, the blame clearly lies with the attackers and not President Obama. Any attack is cause to analyze what went wrong and cover the gaps, and not to score political points.]
