Thursday, September 05, 2002


Oh my God. Will delusions never cease? This proposal to avoid invading Iraq while appearing tough (but only appearing) is truly dense.

The Carnegie Endowment for International Peace gathered some people (some are actually “experts”) who are against fighting Saddam, and they came up with a plan breathtaking in its folly.

Their plan calls for the UN “Security Council to create a ‘powerful, multinational military force’ that would back U.N. weapons inspectors carrying out ‘comply or else’ weapons inspections inside Iraq. The ‘or else’ would be a U.N.-authorized invasion.” Specifically, a 50,000-strong “coercive inspections” force led by America would base at least four air cavalry brigades in neighboring Turkey, Jordan, Saudi Arabia, and Kuwait, backed by air power, that could shoot its way into Iraq to force inspections. The really good part is [wait for it…] that if Iraq didn’t comply, the Security Council would authorize an invasion! Good grief, this is better than the Onion. Ooh, ooh, and get this—the Security Council would determine what constituted Iraqi noncompliance that would trigger the invasion!

[My side hurts! I’m truly too incapacitated by laughter to go on! But…I…must ..]

So, countries already unhappy with our presence in the area will welcome 50,000 Americans and our stooges (Who else will go with us? That would be a hilarious exercise in futility too, coming up with that list) who will shoot up Iraq at will when denied entry into suspected weapons centers. Yep, we fly in a brigade and the Iraqis run away, properly chastised. They would never try to deceive us—especially after learning their lesson after 11 years of successfully stiffing the UN. They would never take the unarmed inspectors in Iraq hostage in the first place. I’m sure they remember with fondness how releasing Westerners in Iraq after he took Kuwait just swept us off our feet. They would certainly never ambush a brigade flying in, trying to Ia Drang Valley us into a defeat that will send us running. They would also never try to enrage the street against an even larger Western presence in the Arab world. Surely, Jordan and Saudi Arabia will sign on to allow their territory to be used to attack Iraq at will with these brigades and air power. After all, they’ve learned that their opposition to force up until now has been counter-productive. And of course, unlike their lack of reaction to eleven years of Iraq breaking the ceasefire terms of 1991, the UN Security Council will immediately authorize war (that would be us, boys) to overthrow the naughty Tikriti lad in Baghdad. Surely, this time for sure, the Europeans and Moslem world will back the invasion. Let’s have no impolite talk of vetoes by the Chinese, Russians, or French!

Such mind-numbing, slack-jawed, drooling idiocy is truly amazing. Yet it will be released on Friday to an eager world. Reportedly, there are Europeans and members of Congress eager to see the plan. “Comply or else”? Good grief, after 11 years of “Mister, I’m giving you one last chance to give up those nukes! Don’t make me get out of my chair! Saddam! You listen to me now!” one last “or else” will finally do the trick. Yep, you better disarm in compliance with the ceasefire terms “or else” we’ll come up with another plan to ensure your peaceful compliance.

I think I’m going to be ill.