Sunday, January 04, 2015

What We Will Believe?

In light of the Green Reformation by Pope Francis, I suppose a revision to the Nicene Creed is in order for my fellow Catholics.

I'm on it:

I believe in one Gaea,
maker of Whole Foods Market,
of all things green and organic.

I believe in one IPCC,
the Only legacy of Earth Day,
born of the Malthusians,
Heat from carbon, Energy from Light,
true profit from Carbon credit,
begotten, not made, consubstantial with the Model;
through Code all predictions were made.
For us, Mann (and for our salvation),
he came down from Penn State,
and by the Hockey Stick was incarnate of the Global Warming,
and became famous.
For our sake he was defamed by Mark Steyn,
he suffered ridicule and was harried,
and sued again in the DC Superior Court
in accordance with the Consensus.
He ascended into Interstellar
and is seated at the right hand of the Alba.
He will testify again in glory
to judge the green and denier
and his revenue will have no end.

I believe in the Electric Vehicle--the Prius--the giver of zero emissions,
who proceeds from the battery and the cord,
who with the windmill and solar panel is adored and glorified,
who was subsidized because of no profits.

I believe in one, holy, coded and apostolic Model.
I confess one recycling station for the proliferation of bins
and I look forward to the resurrection of the polar bear
and the Climate of the world to come. Amen.

Sorry, I skipped past my interpretive dance threat. It's best, really, for all of us.

Although after that song, my poetry, this creed, and even a couple haikus,  I'm bloody well running out of alternatives to the dance. Be afraid.

Now go and emit no more.

UPDATE: Thoughts from Mark Steyn on the issue.