My Soccer Prediction

As America makes it to the next round with a strangely unsatisfying loss to Germany that nonetheless did not prevent us from advancing because Portugal won their game (wow, it isn't enough to watch your own boring game--you have to watch a completely different boring game!), I remain perplexed about the game. Yet I can offer a prediction that nobody can refute.

One, let me start with this (tip to Mad Minerva):



I cried with laughter. Oh my God.

But I digress. My prediction is more important.

The rest of the world continues to berate America for not appreciating soccer.

One, they'd help their case if they stopped calling it "football" since we have football.

Two, my prediction: the rest of the world will stop berating us for not appreciating soccer the moment we play in a game for the World Cup.

It's one thing to insult us for failing to appreciate soccer as long as we don't win in the sport. But the moment we threaten to dominate the sport, the world will stop insisting that we embrace soccer.

I suspect at that point that FIFA will become the official sponsor of curling.

But I do hope that we keep winning. My son is oddly into the World Cup. I think the painful summer void after NHL hockey ends but before fall football begins has something to do with it. But it is hard not to be affected by his youthful enthusiasm for the only game in town at the moment.

Yet I'm reasonably sure that Mister's enthusiasm for the sport peaks the moment American is out of the tournament. And that will pretty much be the peak of American interest, too. So the world will be able to continue to berate us for not appreciating soccer the way they do.

Until we dominate the sport, of course.