Wednesday, October 05, 2005

I Don't Want to Talk to Them

Tim Blair notes a recent surrender festival down under that Andrew Bolt comments on, where Understandniks helpfully offered ways to Ms. Price about how we can start negotiating with al Qaeda:




Sure, we shouldn’t really negotiate with killers, Price said on Monday, but “things have progressed so far beyond that”.

To save ourselves we must open talks—if not with bin Laden himself, at least with “someone within the (al-Qaida) organisation that doubts what’s happening”.

And for half an hour her listeners rang with helpful suggestions to cut a deal with the terrorists who have killed so many of us.

We should appoint an expert in “conflict resolution”, suggested one. What about the United Nations, asked a second. And, of course, of course, we should get out of Iraq, the cause of all sorrows.

Dear God, how strange it was, to hear so many callers assume that terrorists happy to blow up children and behead civilians are as reasonable as are they themselves, in a manner of speaking.

Hang on, warned one listener, but wasn’t one of al-Qaida’s desires the return of Spain and East Timor to Muslim rule?

Well, that could be just a “starting point” in these talks, Price replied.

Fascinating. I wonder what we need to trade off to keep Spain? (Please be Berkeley) Really, though, I'm getting ahead of the game. I don't think the starting point can be the big things like the status of Spain or even East Timor. First, Mark Steyn writes that we need to negotiate the status of the Hundred Acre Woods:

Alas, the United Kingdom's descent into dhimmitude is beyond parody. Dudley Metropolitan Borough Council (Tory-controlled) has now announced that, following a complaint by a Muslim employee, all work pictures and knick-knacks of novelty pigs and "pig-related items" will be banned. Among the verboten items is one employee's box of tissues, because it features a representation of Winnie the Pooh and Piglet. And, as we know, Muslims regard pigs as "unclean", even an anthropomorphised cartoon pig wearing a scarf and a bright, colourful singlet.

Normally when one speaks of "the Kingdom" one is speaking of Saudi Arabia. Sadly, the United Kingdom appears to be uniting with those who consider timid young cartoon pigs offensive.

So there you go, Pooh lives in the Caliphate now. And Piglet can room with Rushdie avoiding the death fatwah. I hope Christopher Robins can explain to Pooh why needs to pay a portion of his honey to the Caliphate since he isn't a proper Moslem.

Perhaps Tigger can spread the rumor that the Piglet ban is really a Jewish plot to get rid of pork. Or is it wrong to use competing feverish psychotic rantings against each other in an effort to cancel each other out?

And this isn't the first silly surrender of the Kingdom. Remember the Burger King retreat on their swirly ice cream lid design that some Moslem gentleman demanded be changed? Good grief, what won't offend some of these fanatics? What are we supposed to discuss with them? Whether we'd prefer to be beheaded with one or two slices? How long will it be before BK become Burger Emir and refuses to put bacon on their sandwiches?

And these two surrenders are from one of our more stalwart allies in the war on terror! My God, what will the Belgians ban?

Bolt rightly asks:

Can we really reason with such insanity? Should we even try, knowing what these killers did to get our attention? And can we hope to settle all their local grievances anyway?