Tiger Dad

I had to break some disturbing news to Lamb this week. I don't remember how the subject came up, but at one point when we were chatting about nothing in particular, the issue of having a house came up. Lamb told me that if she had a problem buying a house, she could use her small silver house medallion that she kept safe--because it is "very valuable"--to have a house built for her.

That medallion--I had probably given it to her--is from Habitat for Humanity. I know she keeps it with her coins like it is valuable. I do remember explaining that it was from an organization that builds houses for people who can't afford them. I don't remember if I explained that it was part of a fund-raising appeal.

I know I didn't explain that I would never give to any organization associated with former president Jimmy Carter. Objectively, who can oppose the sentiment of building homes like that? I can't. But I wouldn't give to the Jessica Alba Clothing Optional Fund if Carter was associated with it. My contempt for Carter goes that far.

Anyway. I told her, "Oh, no, Sweetie. That coin won't get you a house. It's just advertising for them." I immediately felt a bit guilty. I just took away a security net she thought she had.

On the other hand, it is good that she doesn't think that she can skimp on the multiplication flash cards I just got her. If she wants a house, she'll have to buy it. Which means she'll have to earn the money to buy it. Which means she'd best do well in school. Which means, right now, that she needs to know her multiplicaton tables.

Lamb still believes in the Tooth Fairy (reminder to me: go to bank to get more dollar coins since I forked over my last one to Lamb's mom last week for the transaction) and Santa. Those are harmless beliefs and perform a function, really. Lessening the fear of body parts falling off as normal and even valuable; and the lesson of giving while expecting nothing in return--first Santa doing the giving, wanting only goodness in return; and then when children know Santa is not real, knowing parents spent years giving without expecting credit.

But letting a child think that someone out there will automatically relieve them of the need to work hard isn't harmless. Not that Lamb burst into tears or even seemed visibly disappointed--adulthood for children is so far away as to represent another person altogether in their minds. But it felt to me like I made her take a little premature step away from the trust and innocence of childhood.

That's what Tiger Dads do, right?