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Friday, July 23, 2021

Am I Victim of Systemic Right-Handedness?

If I wanted to be a complete dick about exploiting victim status sainthood, I could use my status as a Left-Handed American to complain of "Systemic Right-Handedness". 

We in the left-handed community suffer a shorter lifespan in general from having to use things designed for right-handed people. Sometimes dangerous things. I've droned on about right-handed grenades

Here's another recent case in point regarding systemic right-handedness. At the hospital the "clean" pens are on the right and the potentially contaminated pens are on the left. When a form was shoved in my direction for signing, I instinctively reached with my left hand--to the pen holder on the left. By the time I read the sign the pen was in my hand. 

Sure, it's my own damn fault if that is the source of an infection with the Xi Jinping Flu. But you right-handers will never be in that position, eh? Your instinct protects you.

Isn't it fun now that everyone can play these stupid games? 

When will higher education start creating Left-Handed Studies Departments? We were once forbidden from even being who we are and compelled to use our right hands, after all. 

When will the government have agencies and budget-busting budgets to combat this historical wrong and systemic stain? 

Why don't I know which prominent Americans in history were left-handed? 

Will Hollywood make sure left-handed actors portray left-handed characters? Are left-handers under-represented in movies?  

When will I get the victim status that I so richly reject? After all, why should I know better than the over-credentialed elites who deem who is and who is not a victim?  

Show me the money, damn it!

UPDATE: Very related.