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Saturday, July 09, 2016

First They Came for the Kale

No one expects the Organic Inquisition!

Brooklyn may have the only grocery store in the country that puts its customers on trial.

The Park Slope Food Coop, founded in 1973, is a neighborhood institution known for its deadly serious dedication to organic produce and egalitarian values. Its 17,000 members are required to work 2¾ hours every four weeks in exchange for crunchy camaraderie and discounted groceries.

Over the years, the store has weathered its share of publicity for fighting over topics like the ethics of tuna harvesting. Recently, when one such dispute about Middle Eastern politics spiraled out of control, four members found themselves facing judgment before a jury of their peers, accused of being, well, uncooperative.

Ah yes, for the "dissent is the highest form of patriotism" crowd, being "uncooperative" is a "crime."

And for real yucks, the coop has a figurative wall that they enforce:

Infractions that could land one in court include theft, vandalism, falsifying work records, unauthorized presence in the basement and permitting nonmembers to shop. [emphasis added]

Aren't these shoppers just "undocumented coop members?" Yet letting them in the store is a crime? How ... egalitarian.

And what's with the basement access crime? Are only Green Guards allowed there? Is that where the forced reeducation camp is located?

I forget, but I'm going to guess I owe a tip to Instapundit.