Foot-Based Terror Alert Code

In the war on terror, we're a couple alert steps from "boot up our ass", it seems.

President Obama got rid of the Bush-era color codes for alert levels in the war on terror. Liberals loved to mock it. Whatever its practical uses, it was at least a war-time alert system. Because, you know, we're at war.

Now that we are not at war with a somewhat defeated al Qaeda, the president seems to be ad libbing a foot position code for the terrorism threat level.

When we were winning the war, President Obama said that al Qaeda was "on the run." Clearly, this is the equivalent of the old "blue" level--or "guarded risk."

After all the recent flurry of threats and embassy closures, President Obama explained that while al Qaeda really wasn't "on the run," they were certainly "on their heels."

Clearly, "on their heels" is a step up. This must be the old "yellow" level of "significant" threats.

I can see lots of possibilities here. Since the administration evidently sees foot work as good descriptions of our defense efforts (note the "pivot" to Asia--or away from the Middle East, if you are cynical), why not expand this approach which already has "on the run" and "on their heels"?

We never got down to the old "green" level of "low risk", which we might call "foot loose," as in they're pretty much dead and we can do our victory dance.

If we need to jack up the level to the old "orange" level of "high" we could call it "groin kick."

And "red" alert level, or "severe risk" of terrorist attack, could be "boot up our ass."

So there you go, our new foot-based alert system fully fleshed out for our Homeland Security Department based on the clear presidential intent expressed.

I mean, as long as we don't care if our friends and allies take us seriously as security partners because they think Putin put a "kick me" sign on our president's back.