Pages

Monday, February 25, 2013

The Killer Sequester

The Draconian evisceration of our budget--a whole 2.3% of our planned spending increase this year--is looming. Will our Washington leaders face the Killer Sequester?



OBAMA: Behold the cave of budget evisceration!
REID: Right! Keep me covered.
BOEHNER: What with?
REID: W-- just keep me covered.
OBAMA: Too late!
REID: What?
OBAMA: There it is!
REID: Where?
OBAMA: There!
REID: What, behind the sequester?
OBAMA: It is the sequester.
REID: You silly sod!
OBAMA: What?
REID: You got us all worked up!
OBAMA: Well, that's no ordinary sequester!
REID: Ohh.
OBAMA: That's the most foul, cruel, and bad-tempered spending trigger you ever set eyes on!
BIDEN: You tit! I soiled my armor I was so scared!
OBAMA: Look, that sequester's got a vicious streak a mile wide! It's a killer!
BOEHNER: Get stuffed!
OBAMA: He'll do you up a treat, mate.
BOEHNER: Oh, yeah?
BIDEN: You mangy Potus git!
OBAMA: I'm warning you!
BIDEN: What's he do, nibble your budget?
OBAMA: He's got huge, sharp-- eh-- he can leap about-- look at the bones!
REID: Go on, Jack. Chop his trigger off!
LEW: Right! Silly little sequester. One budget stew comin' right up!

Remember our losses. Not 5. Just 2.3%.