Like Having Sex in a Canoe

I don't use my blog to complain about my ex-wife. Why subject my kids to finding a blog post that says something mean about their mom? Besides, she could respond in kind, eh?

But I have to draw the line somewhere.

On Tuesday, when my ex had the kids, she invited me over to watch the Michigan bowl game. That was pretty nice of her. She'd provide snacks and asked if I had any Miller Genuine Draft Light beer that I could bring over. No, I have other beer.

But I figured as long as she is providing snacks, I'd grab a 6-pack of it for her and have some instead of bringing my own beer. So I found it--all 64 calories per bottle--and she was happy I'd done that.

It was a tense game that we tried to blow, but somehow we came away with a win--mostly because our foe tried even harder to blow the game and succeeded. I'll never understand a couple of their plays that their coaches called.

Anyway. I drank the "beer." I swear to God, it tasted like carbonated water. I'm not convinced it has alcohol content, either. I'm pretty sure all the calories were in the label and glue used to attach it to the glass bottle. Yes, it actually reflected the old joke that drinking light beer is like having sex in a canoe (How? Because it is f**king close to water.).

I'm no beer snob. I'll gladly drink pretty much whatever someone is kind enough to put in my hand. But I'd feel more manly drinking something with an umbrella in it than one of those light beers.

Sorry kids, that's how I feel.