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Sunday, July 30, 2006

Elastic Loaves

Iran doesn't like the way English words are used to describe things in Mullahland:

Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad has ordered government and cultural bodies to use modified Persian words to replace foreign words that have crept into the language, such as "pizzas" which will now be known as "elastic loaves," state media reported Saturday.

This merely codifies what we've known all along. Consider that the mullahs haven't liked the phrase "nuclear weapons" and instead translate it into Mullahspeak as a "nuclear program that is entirely peaceful and is designed to meet our energy needs only."

This may be difficult to figure out when you hear the mullahs say "we want a nuclear program that is entirely peaceful and is designed to meet our energy needs only." Could go either way if you know nothing about the mullahs. You might think, sure, who wouldn't want to meet their energy needs?

It only becomes clear that the mullahs are using Mullahspeak when a frothing mullah slips and says "Israel must be destroyed! And nobody will stop us from pursing a nuclear program that is entirely peaceful and is designed to meet our energy needs only!" That might make you scratch your head and wonder what one has to do with the other.

Ahmadinejad has clarified things nicely for the persistently dense among us.

Google Translation should probably get to work on this new language. Stories like this make far more sense with Mullahspeak in mind.