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Thursday, January 19, 2006

Orifice of Delphi

So what is Osama telling us?

Having fallen into bin Laden's diabolically clever plot to provoke us into wiping his face all over Southwest Asia, the quite possibly un-dead Osama is graciously offering us a truce if we will only accept:


"We do not mind offering you a long-term truce with fair conditions that we adhere to," he said. "We are a nation that God has forbidden to lie and cheat. So both sides can enjoy security and stability under this truce so we can build Iraq and Afghanistan, which have been destroyed in this war. There is no shame in this solution, which prevents the wasting of billions of dollars that have gone to those with influence and merchants of war in America."

What good timing! Just in time to be wrapped into the Murtha advance-to-the-rear he's still peddling.

But don't think he couldn't hurt us if we wanted to:


"The delay in similar operations happening in America has not been because of failure to break through your security measures. But the operations are happening in Baghdad and you will see them here at home the minute they are through (with preparations), with God's permission," he said.

I guess Osama misjudged the difficulty of the post-September 11 occupation of his newly conquered caliphate. But he is now deep into planning for the rest of his war should we refuse his truce offer. Finally! People more interested than Democratic leaders in long-term detailed plans prior to action!

Sorry doofus. When you told us it was a battle to the death, we engaged on those terms. Die you murderous freak and all your spawn. No friggin' deal.

And if this statement is in effect an ultimatum to us, and Osama does have a terror attack ready to go in America if we refuse his generous offer, should we call off our signals eavesdropping now?

It is also odd that he apparently says the attack will happen "here at home." Why refer to America in either terms of "here" or "at home"? He didn't say "at your home," after all. Is the attack on America going to occur in America--our home, in Pakistan--presumably his current address, or in Saudi Arabia--his home of birth? Or, if he is in Iran, could he be talking about an Iranian nuclear test as the operation rather than terrorism? Or it could just be a translation issue. At The Corner, Pharris translates a different part as saying the attack will be "inside your country."

I would take the threat seriously, though. Step up that wiretapping of terrorist phones and especially those they talk to here in America.

He's truly a regular Orifice of Delphi.

UPDATE: As I think about it, this is more worrying. If Iran is hosting al Qaeda as seems likely, what could bin Laden be doing to help his new patron and protector? Since Iran is conducting operations in Europe (the talks with the EU-3), Iraq (supporting terrorists) and Venezuela (supporting Axis of El Vil member Hugo Chavez in his nutty ambitions) to keep us busy long enough for Tehran to go nuclear, could bin Laden be just another distraction? And what better distraction than a really big operation in America?

Seriously, guys, tap those phone calls. This is no time to worry about the ACLU.