THE Soviet dictator Josef Stalin ordered the creation of Planet of the Apes-style warriors by crossing humans with apes, according to recently uncovered secret documents.
I would be remiss not to take the opportunity to note that the apes would probably have increased both characteristics in their communist partners. And second, what is it with Russians and mating with animals? As I like to remind my friends, beastiality is always wrong.
But I digress. In this case, Stalin wanted soldiers:
According to Moscow newspapers, Stalin told the scientist: "I want a new invincible human being, insensitive to pain, resistant and indifferent about the quality of food they eat."
Typically, the Russians are way behind us. They wanted invincible human warriors insensitive (to pain--and anything else for that matter) and indifferent to the quality of their food?
We call them "Marines."
