Shakespeare

Well, the latest experiment to see if 100 chimps banging away on typewriters can come up with Shakespeare will release its results soon.

One hundred of our best line readers will tell us what they think about our foreign policy with Iraq. They couldn’t tell the difference between VX and VD yet they assume we give a rip about what they think. I guess this is what we get for letting nerdy movie critics pass judgment on their work. The artists are getting their revenge.

After telling us that only those who served in combat can support war, those who only played soldiers on TV will weigh in against war.

Truly, this is the most anticipated opinion piece since Amy Carter opined on the greatest threat to American security during the Dark Ages of the Carter administration.

I eagerly await the letter from the stars.

I bet it’s "Q."