Miss World chief Julia Morley blamed the media for the uproar and cited a Nigerian newspaper article that inflamed the nation's Muslim population by suggesting that were he alive, the prophet Mohammed would have wanted to marry one of the beauty queens.
It has nothing to do with the fact that the rioters are a bunch of fanatics who’d butcher their mothers over a view of an ankle.
Yet this situation is so familiar. Where have I heard this before? Then it hit me: The Life of Brian!
Recall this scene?
The sketch:
CROWD OF WOMEN: yelling
JEWISH OFFICIAL: Matthias, son of Deuteronomy of Gath,...
MATTHIAS: Do I say 'yes'?
STONE HELPER #1: Yes.
MATTHIAS: Yes.
OFFICIAL: ...you have been found guilty by the elders of the town of uttering the name of our Lord, and so, as a blasphemer,...
CROWD: Ooooh!
OFFICIAL: ...you are to be stoned to death.
CROWD: Ahh!
MATTHIAS: Look. I-- I'd had a lovely supper, and all I said to my wife was, 'That piece of halibut was good enough for Jehovah.'
CROWD: Oooooh!
OFFICIAL: Blasphemy! He's said it again!
CROWD: Yes! Yes, he did! He did!...
OFFICIAL: Did you hear him?!
CROWD: Yes! Yes, we did! We did!...
WOMAN #1: Really!
silence
OFFICIAL: Are there any women here today?
CROWD: No. No. No. No...
OFFICIAL: Very well. By virtue of the authority vested in me--
CULPRIT WOMAN stones MATTHIAS
MATTHIAS: Oww! Lay off! We haven't started yet!
OFFICIAL: Come on! Who threw that? Who threw that stone? Come on.
CROWD: She did! She did! He did! He! He. He. Him. Him. Him. Him. He did.
CULPRIT WOMAN: Sorry. I thought we'd started.
OFFICIAL: Go to the back.
CULPRIT WOMAN: Oh, dear.
OFFICIAL: Always one, isn't there? Now, where were we?
MATTHIAS: Look. I don't think it ought to be blasphemy, just saying 'Jehovah'.
CROWD: Oooh! He said it again! Oooh!...
OFFICIAL: You're only making it worse for yourself!
MATTHIAS: Making it worse?! How could it be worse?! Jehovah! Jehovah! Jehovah!
CROWD: Oooooh!...
OFFICIAL: I'm warning you. If you say 'Jehovah' once more--
MRS. A. stones OFFICIAL
Right. Who threw that?
MATTHIAS: laughing
silence
OFFICIAL: Come on. Who threw that?
CROWD: She did! It was her! He! He. Him. Him. Him. Him. Him. Him.
OFFICIAL: Was it you?
MRS. A.: Yes.
OFFICIAL: Right!
MRS. A.: Well, you did say 'Jehovah'.
CROWD: Ah! Ooooh!...
CROWD stones MRS. A.
OFFICIAL: Stop! Stop, will you?! Stop that! Stop it! Now, look! No one is to stone anyone until I blow this whistle! Do you understand?! Even, and I want to make this absolutely clear, even if they do say 'Jehovah'.
CROWD: Ooooooh!...
CROWD stones OFFICIAL
WOMAN #1: Good shot!
clap clap clap
Yessiree, in the spirit of Monty Python, resisting such barbarism is only making it worse for ourselves.
Jehovah! Jehovah! Jehovah!
On to Baghdad.
