Wednesday, July 01, 2015

Welcome to the Real World

So the legal world of marriage finally caught up with Dick Cheney's views and the more recent conversions of President Obama and Hillary Clinton. There is a Chinese curse that might apply to this victory.

If asked, I'd say that marriage is self-evidently a contract between a man and a woman. But I'm sufficiently liberty-minded to say that if society is ready for same-sex marriage, it's no skin off my nose. The court has spoken. Enjoy this new freedom. But those who can now take advantage of this will realize that they no longer have an "alternative" lifestyle.

Now, gay and lesbian people can look forward to pressure to marry, unable to say, "Sorry honey, if only we could! I'd love to! Sadly, society does not recognize our love! Damn them!!"

So enjoy the wedding ride. Even if you don't mind being the last couple you know to tie the knot, does your partner feel the same way? Ooh. Didn't see that one coming, eh?

And maybe with a mortgage and children and all that, Republican ideas on government and taxes will start to make more sense. That's gonna leave a mark.

Oh, and if love should falter, the new laws remain even if the love is gone. You have committed to sexual relations with one person for the rest of your life. Check the fine print.

In an "alternative" lifestyle, you could walk away at your wish. Change your Facebook status, collect your goldfish, Kindle, and clothes, and you're outta there!

Now, with a legally binding bond, enjoy the court process and alimony and property division and custody issues. And how do friends divide up? That's fun, too. Now we're experiencing equality, eh?

Mind you, many will surely find love and happiness this route--as heterosexual couples often do. I'm happy for them. I wish them the best. Maybe they'll even show the rest of us how to do it right.

Anyway, I'm more worried about the strange results of same-justice legal logic.

But in 10 years I don't want to hear conspiracy theories about how this was all a hetero plot to destroy the gay and lesbian communities by assimilating them into the Borg collective of suburban life, lawn care, mini-vans, PTO meetings, and big-box bulk stores.

With this new freedom (#LoveWins) comes new legally binding responsibilities and choice-limiting realities. You might want to start watching Married with Children as a warning rather than a comedy.


Be careful out there!