British comic Russell Brand filed for divorce Friday to end his marriage to US pop star Katy Perry 14 months after the pair were wed in India.
There will be no impact on me, of course, because I'm waiting for Summer Glau--or possibly Zooey Deschanel--to accept my standing offer for dinner at Olive Garden.
Admittedly, my plans could be thrown into turmoil if Sarah Michelle Gellar goes back on the market. I'm thinking Applebees, in that case.
Hey, leave me alone. I don't pick apart your delusions, do I?